Regrets
by Ukdallasfan
Summary: This is a short story of perhaps two or three chapters. I was thinking about the scene at JR's wedding to Cally when he and Sue Ellen glance at each other and it's kind of wistful, regretful even. So, here's a story re-working what happened for JR and SE fans. Happy Easter :)
1. Chapter 1

Miss Ellie turned her head in the direction of the vehicle approaching the house. She excused herself, politely, from the team of caterers that she had been addressing and made for the driveway. She waved to the occupants as the car drew to a stop. John Ross was the first to get out. "Grandma!" he greeted her. "Hello, John Ross. Theresa has just made some chocolate chip cookies. Why don't you go and find her?"

The little boy looked to his mother for approval. "Yes, that's fine sweetheart but only one, right?" Sue Ellen opened the trunk and took out her son's bag before handing it to her former mother-in-law. Miss Ellie noted that she looked tired and careworn. "Are you alright?" she asked her. Sue Ellen sighed. "I know I said I would come, for John Ross's sake, but I've changed my mind. Something has happened and it would be too difficult to see it through now."

Miss Ellie held out her hand. "Come and sit with me, just for a few minutes?" Sue Ellen glanced up to her old bedroom window, the one she shared with JR, and shook her head. "I don't want to risk seeing the happy couple."

Miss Ellie smiled sadly. "This wedding, you know that it's only because JR feels he has to do the right thing by Cally and the baby, don't you? He doesn't love her, Sue Ellen. Anyone with eyes can see that." Sue Ellen shrugged her shoulders. "It's ironic, isn't it? JR doing the right thing, I mean? It's not as if he ever did the right thing by me."

Miss Ellie stared at her, perplexed. "Why do you still care? You have Don. I thought you were happy?" "I am happy, it's just…" Sue Ellen backed away. "I just can't be here today, in these circumstances. I'm sorry. I've told John Ross that I'm not feeling too good. He's fine, well as fine as he can be given the circumstances.

Miss Ellie walked quickly to the car, suddenly realising what was happening. "If I don't say it now, I will never say it" she began. Sue Ellen glanced at her quizzically. "It's my opinion and, as his mother, I should know. JR has never stopped loving you and now I know that you feel exactly the same about him." Sue Ellen's eyes started to brim with tears. "If you're right then sadly it's too late, isn't it? We have both taken different paths and there's no going back now."

JR moved the curtain back into position and sat down on the bed. He glanced at the cravat neatly laid out and sighed deeply. If only Cally weren't pregnant, he mused. He could end the relationship, pay her off and pursue the only woman he ever really wanted. Granted, it might not be easy. Their separation had been even more bitter and acrimonious this time than it had been the last. However, he knew he was the one to blame, having placed his pursuit of West Star before his marriage. Sue Ellen was no longer the pushover she used to be. She was different these days, stronger, more resilient and astute and she had wreaked her revenge cruelly and uniquely by depriving him of the one thing that, right then, mattered the most to him.

He knew, deep down, that Don Lockwood wasn't right for her. He also knew that she didn't feel about the man the way she had felt about him. There was still the unmistakeable spark between them, even when they fought, that told him that she still loved him. Suddenly he was decided.

He leapt up from the bed and grabbed his keys. Taking the stairs two at a time, he dashed out to his car. "JR?" his mama asked as he ran past her. "Mama, there's something I have to do. I'll explain later." Miss Ellie looked at her watch. "The ceremony is due to start in just under two hours. Do I take it that you're going after her?" JR nodded as he slammed the door of his car shut and started the engine. "I'm sorry mama. I just have to do this. I'll be back in time to explain, I promise."

As he reached the highway and turned left, he put his foot down hard on the accelerator. If I hurry, I can probably stop her before she gets back, to him, the English fella, he resolved. As the highway took a bend, he spotted her car in the distance heading towards the city. Weaving in and out of the traffic, overtaking at high speed he finally reached her. As he drew alongside, he honked his horn and gesticulated for her to pull over. Shocked by his sudden appearance she indicated and took the next exit.

Good girl, he thought as he followed her. She came to a halt in a parking lot belonging to a diner and got out waiting for him to do the same. They looked at each other, he in his wedding suit and she, casual, in jeans and a shirt. "JR? What is it?" she asked. "Is John Ross okay?" Her heart was pounding so hard at the sight of him that she felt almost faint. This is what he did to her, every time, she pondered as she tried to regain her composure.

"He's just fine, darlin. It was you I needed to see." "What for? It's your wedding day, JR. Surely you don't need to be reminded of that fact." She folded her arms ready for the next trick he was no doubt going to try to play. "The wedding, to Cally, it's a massive mistake. You're the one I want. You're the one I always wanted. Sue Ellen, it has always been you. I need to know if you feel the same."

Tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Sue-Ellen turned back in the direction of her car. Her head was swimming with the directness of his approach. "Sue Ellen! Please don't go. There are things that need to be said." There was a desperation in his voice that made her stop in her tracks. She turned to face him. "Haven't we both said and done enough?" she asked. He shook his head sadly. "Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we can't put things right between us." He glanced over to the door of the diner. The sign said it was open but it looked quiet in terms of custom. "Let me buy you a coffee?"

She remained where she was, much to his disappointment. "It's not the best idea. Too much has happened, JR. I feel there's no going back." "Please, just five minutes?" he begged. She sighed before answering. "Alright then, five minutes." As ever, she was giving in to him. She knew it but she just couldn't prevent herself from being drawn back in.

The proprietor looked up from his newspaper as the bell on the inside of the door jangled. He stared as the couple walked in, amused by the incongruity of their dress. He glanced out of the window and noted the two expensive vehicles parked outside, their number plates giving the game away as to their identity. "Good morning" he greeted them. "Please, sit wherever you like." JR held his arm out to Sue Ellen to decide. She chose a booth in the furthest corner and took a seat, watching guardedly as her ex-husband joined her directly opposite. A waitress sauntered over, under instruction to take their order. "Just coffee please?" Sue-Ellen asked. "Right away ma'am" the young woman replied, walking away and then returning with mugs and the percolator jug. JR thanked her politely but pointedly, leaving the waitress in no doubt that, after she had served them, he expected her to make herself scarce.

Sue-Ellen took a sip of her coffee before speaking. "What are we doing?" she enquired rhetorically. "I know full well what I'm doing" JR answered with emphasis. "I'm trying to stop us both from making the biggest mistake of our lives." "You certainly pick your moments" she replied curtly, trying her best not to allow him to read her thoughts. "Oh, this isn't completely spur of the moment, darlin. I've been thinking about this for ages, wondering how I could have let things get this far."

There was a passion in his voice that was all too familiar. It took her back to all the times in the past that he had managed to win her over, to inveigle his way back into her life only to let her down to such devastating effect. "I saw you at Southfork this morning and I knew. You feel exactly the same as I do. Well, honey, we're a long time dead as the saying goes but there is a way back for us if you want that. I certainly do."

She stared into his eyes and knew. He looked just as tired as she did, beaten down almost by the momentum of what was occurring, but still up for one last fight. "You have a lovely young bride waiting for you" she told him. "Like you said that day when you threw me out. It's over, JR, and there's no going back. Don has proposed to me and I intend to accept."

She wanted to hurt him, to make him feel the pain that she had felt when he had started his affair with Kimberley Cryder and, by the expression on his face, it was working. He shook his head and grasped her hand. "He's not right for you and you know it, sugar. If he was, you would have accepted his proposal there and then, like you did with me. You wouldn't have needed to think about it."

His touch and the words that accompanied it sent shivers down her spine. He was right. She had agonised over Don's proposal in a way that unnerved her, weighing up the pros and cons, never completely certain about what she should do. "He must know, the English fella. He's grasping at straws. It'll never work."

"And what about you and Cally?" she countered defensively. JR sighed wearily. "She's a sweet girl but things got way out of hand there. She knows, deep down, that I don't love her. I've tried to think about the future in a positive way, tried to convince myself that there was more in the way that I felt about her but, even with the prospect of the baby, I know it won't work out. It can't because she's not you."

Sue Ellen's expression darkened. She had meddled there and now she was wishing she hadn't. Cally was so in love with JR and so desperate to be married to him she couldn't see that the advice given by her predecessor to deceive him would only lead to disaster. It had been a game but it was going to involve damage to someone who was basically innocent, just a pawn in the twisted game of revenge that she still desired to play where her ex-husband was concerned.

"So why until thirty minutes ago were you going to see it through?" she asked. "Surely not for the sake of Cally's dignity? That would never be you, JR." JR stared into her eyes, still holding onto her hand, relieved that she hadn't yet tried to pull it away. "I don't know, not really. What I do know is that when I saw you at the house, the look on your face as you spoke to my mama, I realised that I couldn't go through with it. Come what may between us, darlin, I'm going home to break it off with her. I will see her right financially and I will do what's right by my child but making a life with the two of them is no longer possible. We would be living a lie and that's not fair to any of us."

Sue Ellen took a deep breath before responding, her mind filled with doubt about what to say to him. If he was, indeed, about to end it with Cally she didn't actually need to say anything. He would find out that there was no pregnancy in due course and she could deal with the revelation that she had been in on it all along further down the line. However, her sense of guilt and responsibility superseded self-preservation.

"What if I told you there is no baby?" she asked.

Tbc


	3. Chapter 3

JR stared at her intently. She made to stand, realising her mistake, but he grasped her wrist and sat her firmly back down in her seat. "Come on, Sue Ellen, you can't just throw that out and then leave." She pulled away from him petulantly but remained silent. "You said there isn't a baby?" he asked eventually, perplexed, not sure whether he actually wanted the truth.

She shook her head and sighed. "There isn't" she replied wearily. "It's a ruse to get you to marry her. She hopes she will then quickly fall pregnant and you will not know the difference." "How do you know all of this?" She stared into his eyes and was met by a darker, angrier expression, one that she knew all too well. "Sugar?"

"She came to me for help. She was desperate, JR. I felt sorry for her." Sue Ellen knew that her explanation was glib and unacceptable but, at that moment, it was all she could muster. "I saw a doctor's report" he argued, stung that he had been fooled. "My doctor" she answered but did not elaborate.

He exhaled loudly. "Why?" he then demanded angrily, causing the waitress to lift her head from the gossip magazine she was reading at the counter. Sue Ellen waved her hand reassuringly before the young woman smiled weakly and returned to what she had been doing. "Because I could, JR. Because I wanted to hurt you, to get revenge. Call it what you will. You and I have played our twisted games with one another for over twenty years. You hurt me and I hurt you back. That's probably the best reason for staying apart, so that it stops, once and for all."

"So, you were going to push me into a marriage that I didn't want, have never wanted?" "Yes, just as you pushed me into the arms of Nick, a man I never really wanted, all for the sake of taking over West Star" she retorted annoyedly. "You have no idea of the pain that your affair with Kimberley caused me, have you?"

JR shook his head. "I'm sorry, Sue Ellen. I know I should never have done that. It was the biggest mistake of my life." "Why did you do it?" she asked, tears pricking her eyes. It was the one matter that they had never spoken about. The fallout from JR's defeated takeover bid had led to nothing but acrimony between them. There was no opportunity to explain that revenge, served by her in such dramatic fashion, had been her way of surviving, of paying him back for the ultimate in betrayal.

"We had been getting on better than ever" she continued. "I finally felt that you and I understood each other, respected each other even. We could have been so good together but you threw it all away…" JR nodded sadly. "I know. I didn't even like her. It was the stupidest thing I have ever done and not a day goes by that I don't regret it."

Sue Ellen held up her hand. "God, JR. How many times have I heard that one before? And here you are, saying it all over again. Do you know how hollow it sounds after all these years? Why should I believe you now?" "Because for the first time ever I feel that we're both on the brink, of making decisions that will change everything between us. It will be the end, darlin, no going back and I, for one, can't bear that."

"It won't work, JR. We are both too flawed. I can't expose myself to the risk any more. I've come too far to sink back into the desperation of a bottle. It's time to call it quits, to admit it's over. I'm sorry for what I did, please believe me. Good luck, whatever you decide to do."

She stood and this time he made no effort to stop her. He watched as she weaved her way between the tables and out of the door, brushing away her now incessant tears. As she opened her car door, she clumsily dropped her keys to the ground. "Damn" she cursed as she stooped to retrieve them.

Suddenly, JR knew. He threw a ten- dollar bill on the table and ran out of the diner. "Sue Ellen? Please?" he shouted. She turned, shook her head sadly and got into the car. Reaching the vehicle, he flung the door open. "No!" he told her. "It doesn't end between you and I this way. We are meant to be together. I won't give up, sugar. You know me and you know I mean what I say." He leaned over and took the key from the ignition, ignoring her protest. Then, he took her hand and pulled her firmly from the car, sweeping her into his arms.

"I love you, Sue Ellen. I always have and I always will and I know you feel the same about me." She tried to resist, pushing against him to release herself, but the truth was just as he had said it. She didn't want Don, not in the way that she wanted him. He was right. They shared a common destiny- to be together. Relaxing in his arms, she dissolved once more into tears and buried her face in his chest.

He held her for what seemed like an age before she lifted her head to face him. He gently brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumb before their lips met. It was natural, imperceptible and inevitable that they would kiss. At first it was tender, hesitant even, as if they were still getting to know each other but, before long, it deepened, marking just how they truly felt about each other.

The waitress peered through the window and smiled to herself. She wasn't sure quite what was going on with the rich-folk she had just served but they now seemed much happier than they had been when they first arrived, she mused as she pocketed her generous tip and began to clear the table.

Breaking from their kiss JR was suddenly uncertain. "Are you sure?" he asked worriedly. Sue Ellen nodded firmly. "Let's go away somewhere, get to know each other all over again?" she asked. JR smiled. "Definitely, but there are two difficult conversations that we need to have before we do."

Tbc

**Thanks for the reviews. I do appreciate them. I'm sorry I have been very slow to update my ongoing stories. Life and work are just so busy these days. I'm going on holiday tomorrow but will try to update more frequently when I get back : )**


	4. Chapter 4

"It's done. And you?" JR had no time for niceties, he simply had to know. Sue Ellen wound her finger around the telephone wire and took a deep breath. It wasn't that she was unsure, at least not about her feelings, but this was all too fast. Only a matter of a few hours ago he was getting married, to someone else, someone much younger and far more malleable than she was which, where JR was concerned, might have been just what he needed. And her? Had she honestly really been contemplating a new life in England with Don or had she just been waiting for the opportunity to arise to let him down gently?

"The same" she uttered quietly, prompting an audible sigh of relief at the other end. "I need to see you, darlin" he responded quickly. She paused, shaking her head. "Not tonight, JR. I'm sure there are things still to be resolved at home. Come over tomorrow morning instead." "Alright" he answered reluctantly. "How's John Ross?" she asked although, deep down, she knew. "Our boy's just fine, Sue Ellen. Mama is taking good care of him." "What have you told him?" she asked, suddenly anxious. "Not a lot, just that Cally and I have decided that getting married wouldn't be a terribly sensible thing to do and that she won't be living here anymore."

She exhaled deeply, satisfied with his response, if only where her son was concerned. This really was it now. There was no turning back and no room for regret, just as Don had told her immediately before he had left.

"What time shall I come?" he asked. "Nine or thereabouts?" she replied. "Yes, fine. Sue-Ellen, I love you. You do know that don't you?" "I do" she answered flatly. "See you tomorrow." As she hung up tears began to well in her eyes. If only love were enough, she reflected, but it wasn't nearly as straightforward as that, as both of them were only too aware.

She moved into the living room and sat down on the sofa facing the window. It looked like a storm was brewing which was apt in the circumstances, she told herself. She hugged her knees and remained motionless, not sure what to do next. Any attempt at working was likely to prove fruitless, she decided, and the television held no attraction right at that moment. Exhausted, she lay her head down, stretched out and closed her eyes. Even if she didn't go to sleep, at least she was resting, she resolved.

She awoke with a start, not sure what day or time it was at first. The sun was streaming through the window blinding her with its light. She glanced at her watch- 6.10am. Sitting up stiffly, she stretched and then began to orientate herself.

She moved to the window and looked out. The remnants of a storm were evident, her usually immaculately tended garden battered with debris, evidencing what had happened whilst she lay deep in slumber, oblivious. She touched her temple briefly. If she hadn't known better, she would have felt hungover.

Mouth dry, head pounding, she moved to the kitchen where she poured herself a large glass of water and drank. As she imbibed, she reflected on all that had happened yesterday and shuddered. Between them they had been the cause of so much damage, she mused sadly, and for what? Now, she felt incredibly unsure.

JR turned once more in his bed, exhausted. He'd downplayed matters deliberately to Sue Ellen in their phone call, so as not to worry her, but the aftermath of his revelation had been far from pleasant. He cursed himself inwardly for accepting her instruction to stay away last night. He needed her, that was the plain fact of the matter. He leaned over and grasped his clock from the bedside table, straining to see in the half light. Disappointed that it was still so early he rose and walked to the window, peering through the gap between the curtains.

He sighed. Most of the wedding paraphernalia had been taken away after he had announced that he wasn't going through with it, but some still remained, unable to be taken down before nightfall and the advent of the storm. Yellow and white bunting, Southfork colours, and numerous strands of fairy lights waved in the breeze as if triumphant that they had survived the tumult of the night before. Balloons floated aimlessly in the pool, evidence of the party that was never meant to be. It was a sad sight, he reflected, but not one that he regretted. By evening, no doubt through the determination and efforts of his mama, the house and gardens would be back to normal again, as if it had never happened, as if he and Cally had never been.

He shook his head regretfully. Standing there, almost ready to put on her wedding gown and complete her transformation, she'd begun by begging him, then apologising, then promising to become more like her rival, to be the wife that he wanted and deserved, until, eventually, she realised it was futile. Then only silence as she packed her things, assisted by his mama, and he wrote the cheque.

Carnage, he reflected, once again down to him. If only he'd been better, if only he'd been the husband to the only woman that he ever really loved that he should have been. Instead, wicked, twisted games destined to result in separation, loss and sorrow…

Rapidly shaking off his guilt, as he was so wont to do, he walked to the wardrobe and began picking out his clothes for the day. In a few hours he would see her and all would be well, he told himself. This time, he would show her just how it could be between them, he resolved. They'd start, as they mentioned yesterday, with a trip, somewhere that neither of them had been before, a chance to get to know each other again, to reconnect and build a new, better future together.

Beginning to feel more hopeful, excited even, he moved to his dresser and opened the top drawer. There he found it, his ring, the only one that he ever wanted to wear. He slid it gently onto his finger, relieved that it still fitted, albeit a little tighter than before. I'll show Sue Ellen, in all ways, he decided determinedly.

Tbc

**Sorry I haven't updated any of my stories for ages. Thanks for the messages and reviews. I'm perfectly fine, just snowed under with the weight of my work and family responsibilities. I still love writing about JR and SE and I will try harder, I promise : )**


	5. Chapter 5

Excited yet apprehensive at the same time, JR walked up to the door and knocked briskly. After a few seconds she opened it and beckoned him wordlessly to come in. He followed her through to the kitchen, taking in their surroundings. It was a lovely place, very Sue Ellen, he pondered, realising that this was the first time he had been permitted entry. All the other times she had kept him at the door, anger and bitterness taking precedence over the interests of their son at access handovers.

She turned to face him. "Coffee?" she asked. "Yes, thank you" he replied, noting her tired and somewhat downcast appearance. She was still beautiful, though, just as radiant as the day they first met, he determined. "How did you sleep?" she enquired as she poured two cups from the percolator. "Not too badly…" he faltered. "You?"

She nodded. "Yes, I managed to sleep which in the circumstances was surprising." "How did he take it?" "You can't imagine?" The last thing she wanted was a post-mortem on how she and Don came to be no more. "Anyway, it's done now, darlin. We need to look to the future" he answered, realising that he needed to move away from that particular topic.

She shook her head, making him immediately anxious. "I'm not coming back to Southfork, not yet" she stated flatly. "Perhaps never." "I'm not going to make you do anything that you don't want to, I promise. If you want to take things slowly that's just fine. As long as you and I are together, that's all I can ask for."

She smiled weakly, relieved by his reassurance. She beckoned for them to sit but before she could do so he grasped her by the wrist and pulled her to him. "Sue Ellen" he whispered before kissing her softly on the lips. As their lips parted, she buried her face in his chest prompting him to wrap his arms tightly around her. There they remained for several seconds, holding each other, just like the old times, when they had been happy.

She lifted her head and gazed into his eyes. "There's so much to talk about, I don't know where to begin" she told him as she led him to a large, comfortable sofa overlooking the pool and garden. "As I told you before, honey, let's just take our time, get things right between us." Reclining comfortably, he watched as she fetched the cups and placed them down on the coffee table. She seated herself close but not too close to him. She knew the effect he had on her but she wasn't going to fall for his charms quite so easily this time.

"Let me start with what I don't want" she began. "I've just told you that I don't want to go back to Southfork and that is definite." He nodded in assent. "I don't want us to live together full time just yet either. There has been a lot of water under the bridge between us. I know you yet sometimes I feel I don't. So much has happened, we've both behaved badly, we've been with other people and led separate lives. It's different this time, I mean from all the other times."

"Yes, all the other times when you took me back and I didn't deserve it. I agree, Sue Ellen, it isn't the same now and it can't ever be. If this is going to work then I need to show you I can change and you need to believe it." She nodded and smiled. "How do you show me that you've changed?" He shook his head. "I don't know, really. I think it's a matter of time, before you'll have complete confidence in me."

She sipped her coffee reflectively. "Yes, that's right. What do I need to do? I haven't always been a good wife to you." "You only ever acted in retaliation, darlin. I'd have an affair so you'd have one. I'd manipulate and humiliate you, so you'd do the same to me. None of this was your fault. You were so lovely and innocent at the start. I ruined you by not being the husband that I should have been. Things could have been so different, darlin, and I'm the one to blame."

"What do we do then?" she asked. "It's not like we can turn the clock back is it?" "No, we have to start again if we are ever to move on from our mistakes. What about that trip we talked about yesterday?"

She stared at him, noting that his eyes shone more brightly as he contemplated their future together. "Where?" He took hold of her hand in his. "Remember when we were first married, all those years ago? Daddy wouldn't let me take any proper time off for a honeymoon because of what was going on with the company. I promised you a grand tour but never delivered on it…" "Europe" she replied wistfully. "I'm not sure I ever took you seriously about that though. I always knew that work would come first."

He shook his head. "Then but not now, sugar. Bobby can hold the fort, not even he could ruin the company in a month, no matter how hard he tried." She gazed at him incredulously. "A month?" He nodded. "Yes, a whole month. If we are going to do this then we need to do it properly." "What about John Ross?"

"You know how much I love that boy, Sue Ellen, but I want you all to myself this time. I need to get to know you again and for you to see me in a very different light from the one that you've been accustomed to. John Ross will be just fine at Southfork with mama and Clayton."

"When?" she enquired, excited yet unconvinced. "There's no time like the present, darlin. How long would it take you to get your packing done?" She threw her head back and laughed. "Are you running away from your troubles, JR? Remember, there's my own company to take care of. Arrangements for it to be looked after in my absence would have to be made."

"Next Saturday then? That's more than enough time. I'll get Sly to start booking some flights then." Without giving her time to respond he pulled her close to him and reclined with her tightly held in his arms, noting with pleasure how easily she accepted his embrace. There was no way he was ever letting her go again, he resolved.

Tbc


	6. Chapter 6

Sly walked away from the photocopier, several sheets of paper in hand. She smiled conspiratorially as she approached her colleague's desk. "Look at this?" Phyllis looked up from what she was doing and accepted what was being offered. "Is this it?" she asked. Sly nodded.

"This is what he has been working on the last few days. He wouldn't let me help him until it came to making the bookings." Phyllis grinned widely. "I still can't quite believe it but then…" Sly took her seat behind her usual desk. "Go on" she urged. "JR isn't due in until later. He has a meeting at the bank."

Phyllis scrutinised the itinerary, leafing through the sheets and paying particular attention to the hotel reservations. "He's pulling out all the stops, isn't he?" she asked. Sly nodded firmly. "No expense spared and they are going to be away for just over a month. It's the trip of a lifetime. You were about to say?"

Phyllis shook her head. "It's none of our business, Sly. We may spend Monday to Friday with JR and Bobby but…" "Oh come on, you must have a view about all of this. Who is it harming if we keep it between ourselves?"

Phyllis rose and moved to the percolator. "Coffee?" she asked, holding the jug aloft. Sly nodded. Delivering her cup, she perched on the end of the desk. "Their relationship has always been, well, I guess complicated would be the most diplomatic way to describe it."

"I've been here long enough to work that out! I just can't understand what has prompted the reconciliation this time and the trip- it's just not like him" Sly countered, a hint of irritation with her colleague evident in her tone. "You want my theory on it?" Phyllis asked. "They have always loved each other and always will. They're destined to be together and, deep down, they both know it." "So, why are they so beastly to each other? Their last separation was nothing short of awful. I never imagined that they would come back from it."

Phyllis shook her head. "Do you want to know something else? I reckon he loves her more than she loves him. She's his weakness." Sly shook her head incredulously. "Then why would he treat her in the way he has?" "Because he wanted it all" Phyllis answered phlegmatically, taking a sip from her cup. "And he thought he could have it and there wouldn't be any consequences. Perhaps, finally, he realises that she is all he actually wants."

Sly stared at Phyllis. "If this vacation is anything to judge by, you could be right?" Phyllis nodded emphatically. "I've seen a lot over the years and, while I haven't worked closely with JR, I've seen enough to convince me that Sue Ellen is the only woman for him. He's never going to let her go."

Sly drained her cup as she contemplated what she had just been told. "You said that you think he loves her more than she loves him?" she asked. "Think about it- they've been divorced twice and, each time, he's hated it, done everything in his power to get her back. The first time could have been put down to the fact that he lost custody of John Ross, although I never really bought that. This time that argument doesn't apply because his son spends more time at Southfork than with his mama. Seems to me that no matter how badly he behaved, there has always been real love for her. I imagine she understands him and the way he ticks far better than anyone else and that must count for a great deal."

Sly inserted the itinerary into a large envelope, sealed it and addressed it to her boss. "I must put this on his desk. For you and I, Phyllis, this sort of vacation is just a dream." Phyllis chuckled quietly before settling back to work. Never a dull day at Ewing Oil she mused.

Across town, at the Valentine headquarters, Sue Ellen stared at the pile of paperwork that awaited her attention. She sighed as she tackled the first piece of correspondence, an advertising contract with a ladies' fashion magazine. She attempted to study its terms but couldn't concentrate. Moving to the window, she gazed out across the Dallas skyline and thought about the events of the last few days.

Thinking about their forthcoming trip, she felt a mixture of excitement and apprehension. Things had been going well between her and JR but there was one further step that they had not yet taken, going to bed with him. In accordance with her wishes, they were taking things slowly but she knew that was going to have to change.

It wasn't that she didn't want him, the reverse was true. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her and he had not been shy about letting her know. Whilst respectful of her feelings, he had come dangerously close to managing to seduce her after dinner last night. She smiled to herself as she recalled extracting herself from him gently but firmly before closing the door on him with the promise that she would see him again tomorrow.

The reality was that she was scared of the effect that she knew he had on her. Going to bed and making love would seal the deal, she reflected, and there would be no going back. Of all the men she had ever loved, or thought she loved, none of them had ever made her feel the way JR did. Loving JR was as much, if not more, of an addiction than alcohol where she was concerned and, whilst she had no doubts about her feelings for him, the prospect of completely letting go still frightened her.

She walked back to her desk and tried to focus. This time it would be okay, she reassured herself. Better than that. This time she and JR would be really happy and what better way to start than having him all to herself far away from Dallas?

Tbc


	7. Chapter 7

"Darlin, we're here." JR gently moved her head from his shoulder, causing her to stir. It had been a long and arduous journey but he knew that it would be worth it. "JR?" she asked as the driver opened the door for her before moving to the boot to take out their bags. JR got out and walked quickly to her side of the vehicle before holding out his hand to help her.

Darkness had fallen several hours ago but the heat of the late summer's night hit her as she stepped out of the air- conditioned interior of the car. She smiled at the realisation that, finally, they were there. "Welcome to the Hotel Eden" the doorman greeted them, holding the door open and waving them through.

Several minutes later they were in the lift desperate to settle into their hotel suite. Sue Ellen's stomach lurched at the thought that this, their first night in Rome, would be their first spent together since that fateful day when they had agreed to attempt a reconciliation. JR smiled widely at her and touched her hand in reassurance. He knew, just like he knew most things about her, she decided. She returned his smile. "I'm exhausted" she told him, "but I really need a shower before bed." JR nodded but didn't speak. The tension between them was palpable.

Entering their suite on the next floor to the top, Sue Ellen gasped as she approached the window. "Oh JR! Just look at the view!" The corner suite gave them an almost panoramic view of the city, its historic buildings lit up against the night sky, dream-like in quality. "Wait til morning, darlin. I've been told it will be even more spectacular then" he responded, before leaving her to attend to their bags which were in the process of being brought in.

Sue Ellen stared out of the window and shivered slightly. Just over a week ago she could never have imagined that this was possible. She and JR had been daggers drawn whenever they came into contact with each other. He was marrying Cally and she was contemplating a new life in England with Don. She smiled to herself at the memory of that fateful day when he has chased her down and convinced her that they could make it, finally, this time.

"Sue Ellen?" he asked, jolting her back to the present. Moving away from the window she walked towards him and held out her arms. "I was just thinking about how much has changed between us in so little time" she answered, allowing him to envelope her in his embrace. "I told you, the past is in the past. This is a fresh start for us, honey, and where better than here?" "I did wonder why you chose Rome as our first destination? I mean, wouldn't London have been more logical?" JR shook his head. "We'll get there, eventually. I wanted to start somewhere that I knew you'd find fascinating but, more than that, romantic. I remembered how when we were first married you always said that you wanted to come here."

She kissed him lightly on the lips. "You have a good memory, JR. That was a long time ago." "I know, sugar, but where you're concerned there's so much that I remember. It's an indelible imprint which, at times, haunted me and at others has been a source of comfort. No woman has ever affected me in the way that you do, Sue Ellen."

She gazed into his eyes. "We have a lot of talking to do, don't we? Right now, though, I need to shower and get changed into my night things." He walked to the bar area, took a bottle of Scotch and poured himself a large glass. "No Bourbon" he muttered. "This will have to do instead." Settling down on the sofa he watched as she opened the first of her suitcases in pursuit of what she needed to get ready for bed.

"Do you want me to wash your back?" he asked cheekily as she gathered her things and made for the bathroom. She shook her head shyly. "Not tonight but soon, I promise" she replied closing the door behind her. He smiled and shook his head but didn't attempt to argue. She had asked him to take things slowly and he wasn't going to ruin things between them by applying too much pressure.

Twenty minutes later she emerged. He scrutinised her appearance carefully before handing her a glass of iced water. "Thank you" she responded, accepting it gratefully. "Are you hungry?" he asked. She shook her head. "No thanks. I just need to get into bed. Are you coming?"

"I am, but not until I have washed. Sue Ellen, do you know how beautiful you are?" She laughed gently, unconvinced. "I mean it! I fell for your looks initially but you also need to know how much I admire your personality, strength and achievements. You're the entire package, you know, and I am one hell of a lucky man."

She kissed him lightly on the lips, hinting at what might be possible." "Do you know, JR, that I never married you for the money. I did, I do, love you, more than any other man. In the past you've said to me that I was only with you because of everything you could give me. I do so hope that you now know that isn't true?"

He nodded, touched. "Perhaps I never thought that I was good enough for you without all that becoming a Ewing would bring? But I do know, now more than ever, that you love me. And I love you."

She touched his hand. "Hurry up now. I need to feel your arms around me when I go to sleep." He raised an eyebrow, indicating that might not be enough for him. "I mean afterwards…." He smiled widely, now understanding that, whatever her thoughts had been earlier, she was ready to take their relationship that important step further. "I'll be back as quickly as I can."

Tbc


	8. Chapter 8

JR woke and smiled widely to himself. He turned to face her, to watch her sleep. There had been times, not so long ago, when Sue Ellen had appeared tired, stressed and anxious, no doubt because of him. Not now, he observed. In her deep slumber she was beautiful, content, happy even. Not wishing to wake her, he stayed still and continued to observe whilst recollecting what had happened the night before. He had slipped into bed with her and let her take the lead. At first, she had been unsure of herself, covering her eyes with her hand when he praised or complimented her. Whilst they were more than familiar with each other, there remained a strange novelty that took him back all those years to when they were first married, when the physical side of their relationship required patient development. This time, though, he was prepared to wait rather than seek instant gratification from someone else.

She stirred gently and opened her eyes. Meeting his smile, she moved in closer to receive his embrace. "Good morning" she greeted him as she permitted his arms to encircle her. "How did you sleep, darlin?" he asked, genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. "Wonderfully" she answered. "Good, it's time to get up. We need to make it to breakfast. Then there are sights to see" he told her, kissing her on the forehead before extricating himself and getting up. She watched as he put on his robe, moved to the window and drew back the drapes. Standing back to allow her to see the view, he turned and smiled again. She gasped in delight. "Now that sure is a picture" he commented, surveying the Eternal City set against the bright blue summer sky. She joined him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I still can't quite believe it" she responded. "Believe it, sugar, this is real" he informed her, not wishing to disclose that he felt exactly the same way as she did.

An hour later they were shown to a window table in the hotel's rooftop restaurant. Orders taken and coffee served, they were alone once more. "What shall we do today?" Sue Ellen enquired. "I've got a private tour arranged, then lunch and then how about shopping?" he responded. She nodded in agreement whilst taking a sip of her orange juice. "I've read that the shops on the Via Condotti are very nice and it's right by the Spanish Steps too" she informed him. "Not that I need anything really. I've brought way too much luggage as it is." "Nonsense" he replied firmly. "I do have to say though that you are looking very pretty this morning. That dress really suits you." She smiled shyly and looked down briefly at the floral shirt dress she was wearing, just right for the heat of the city. "Thank you" she responded. "I did treat myself to quite a lot of new things for this trip."

He gazed into her eyes. "You deserve it, honey. You work hard and you've made a lot of money over the last few years. It's time we began to enjoy what we have." "Do you really mean that?" she asked. "Has the great JR Ewing finally got enough?" "Yes, I have, in all ways, Sue Ellen" he told her, his expression suddenly becoming serious. She touched his hand in reassurance that she was prepared to believe him. "I mean it. Ewing Oil has a net worth of several billion. Bobby and I can keep the company ticking over until our boys can take command. Why would I want to chase after more when I could be doing this with you instead? Honey, we have the chance to make up for lost time now, to do what we should have done when we were first married, to take vacations, experience new things together, to have a proper life together."

She paused to allow the waiter to deliver their food before speaking. "I don't want you to do anything that might make you unhappy, JR. I know how much the company means to you. I understood perfectly the demands that work placed on you and I was prepared to share you with Ewing Oil if only…"

He grasped her hand. "Tell me, what is it that you want, darlin? Because you can have it, I promise." "I just want…" Her voice faltered for a second before she could continue. "I want to be happy with you, that's the truth. I want to care for you and be cared about in return. I want us to watch John Ross grow up, together. I want us to see him graduate, together. I want us to celebrate his marriage and welcome our grandchildren, together. That's what I want, JR. It's as simple as that." He grinned widely. "Well, if that's all, then I know I can manage it, no question. I will never make the mistakes I made with you ever again. You do believe me, don't you?"

She nodded whilst taking a bite out of her eggs. "This is so good" she told him, attempting to lighten the atmosphere. "And, yes, I do. I do believe you this time. Otherwise I wouldn't be here right now." He smiled back at her. "You make me so happy, honey. Last night I felt closer to you than ever before. I know I was angry with you when we separated but the truth is, I was angrier with myself, disgusted that I had thrown what we had together away, and for what? To own a company that could never mean as much to me as the one that Daddy started, the one that bears our name."

"Perhaps it had to happen?" she suggested. "Maybe that was a journey that we had to take to end up here?" He shook his head. "You're only saying that to make me feel better, darlin. I do appreciate it. The reality is that I made those decisions, nobody forced me and I should have realised the consequences. It has taught me, though, never to hurt you again."

Tbc


End file.
